Trials of Artemis Page 9

  Jacqueline was already at the breakfast table when Gideon came down the next morning. She looked wan and tired but not much worse for wear. He had been concerned that it might be a fever, but at least that hadn't been the case. Perhaps it had been something she ate the day before. This morning she seemed to be eating lightly, buttered toast and some clotted cream on her plate. Following an impulse to touch her and reassure himself that she was all right, he leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

  "Feeling better?" he asked.

  She smiled a bit morosely and nodded. "Yes. A touch of the ague I suppose."

  As he seated himself beside her, his mind became crowded with the things he wanted to say, the primary one being that he had missed her yesterday. Abruptly he was appalled at the direction of his own thoughts. When on earth had she suddenly become important? And why? He'd had a full and satisfying life before she had come into it, and he certainly hadn't been tied to any woman's apron strings. What would be next, an inability to leave her on business? That would be ridiculous. The more he thought about it the more irritated he became. What made her any more exceptional than any other woman he had bedded? He looked at her with a critical eye. She was certainly lovely. When she wasn't being waspish she was actually quite pleasant, but there was nothing special about that. There were dozens of lovely, pleasant women throughout England. Perhaps the issue was precisely that he hadn't bedded her. It was the combination of his unquenched desire and their constant companionship, that was all. After they had consummated their marriage and got past this excruciatingly polite interaction he wouldn't feel as drawn to her.

  "May I ask you a question, Gideon?" Something in the tone of her voice put him on alert.

  "Of course," he said a bit hesitantly.

  She glanced around to make sure none of the footmen were close by and asked in a low voice, "Why haven't we consummated our marriage?"

  That her mind had been thinking along the same lines as his own stunned him for a few moments. "I wanted to give you time to become... acclimated. Since we didn't have a long courtship."

  She looked over at him with a sardonic smile. "We had no courtship."

  "That's not true,” he said. “I took you riding in my curricle."

  "That was after we were officially engaged."

  "Picky little thing, aren't you? Next you'll be saying that you really do want rings in very color."

  She looked down at her wedding ring a little sadly. "No, I like this one."

  Something in her morose expression began to irritate him. "Well then, shall we? I don't have anything on my calendar for the next two hours."

  Her attitude became wary and that served to infuriated him further. "You don't have to be brusque about it," she said.

  "I said that I was being considerate and you said it wasn't necessary."

  "I didn't say that."

  He arched a brow at her. "You implied it."

  She withdrew into the kind of huffy silence he hadn't seen since that day in her parent's garden.

  "Meet me upstairs in a half hour," he said.

  She gave him a baleful look but excused herself from her chair. He stood when she did, as a gentleman should, and then resumed his meal after she left. Perhaps he had been wrong, he thought. Perhaps it was best for both of them if they just got this over with. It didn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things, they were both giving the act more significance than it deserved. He wished, for the first time, that he kept brandy at the breakfast table.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jack sat at her vanity brushing out her hair. She had changed into her nightgown and robe, not sure how else to prepare. Her husband became distant and prickly at the strangest times. She was given to understand that men enjoyed the marriage act, and he had on a number of occasions complimented her looks. And when they had kissed before... Well, she had no reason to believe that he was indifferent to her in that way. She saw movement in her mirror and turned to see that he had entered through the open door connecting their rooms. He had also donned his robe and stood near the doorway watching her. She couldn't decipher the look on his face. It seemed a mix of concern, anger, and even grief. She was cold and could barely feel her feet, but rose and moved across the room toward him. She didn't want to lose her chance at whatever happiness or contentment they could have in their marriage. If this was the path to securing it, then so be it. Before she could join him at the door he motioned, "The bed, then?"

  She nodded mutely, moving to the side of the bed. As she stood there, untying her robe, she heard his footsteps behind her. He helped her slide the robe off her shoulders, tossing it aside once it was free of her arms. Settling his hands on her shoulders, his thumbs circled on her back as he began kissing her neck. His nibbling kisses where her throat met her shoulder made her shudder, and he ran his hands down her arms.

  "You're cold," he said.

  "I'm fine." She knew that she was still tense but trusted that he would distract her shortly.

  He pulled her against his chest and settled his cheek on her head, sighing. "We don't have to do this."

  "It's fine, if you want to."

  "I rarely think about anything else."

  Jack didn't know what to say to that. She hadn't considered how interested he might be in marital relations but it lent credence to the second maid's opinion. She turned towards him, tipping her head back to look at his face. "Then show me what to do."

  He cupped her chin in his hand and brushed his lips gently over hers, stroking the corner of her mouth with his thumb. Keeping his kisses lighter than butterfly wings he touched her cheeks, her eyelids, and then made his way back to her lips again. The sweetness of it made her want to weep. She clutched at the lapels of his robe, her fingers sinking into the slick softness of the silk. His grip on her jaw strengthened and the kiss deepened bit by bit. His other hand slid her nightgown off one shoulder and he moved his mouth to follow it down her arm. When he bared her breast she heard him moan deep in his throat, his hand cupping the globe while his tongue laved the nipple. When he sucked her nipple into his mouth she gave a gasp of surprise. He drew back to look down at her, concern clear on his face. His hand stroked her face, running his fingers through her hair to cup the back of her head.

  "It will be all right," he said.

  "I know," she said, nodding and bringing her gaze down to where her hands clutched at his chest. "I'm just afraid that I don't know... know what to do."

  He pulled to his chest again, where she nestled in the comforting warmth of him.

  “I’m sorry, Gideon.”

  “Shh, it’s all right.”

  He continued to stroke the nape of her neck until she began to relax.

  "Stay here," he said, drawing her nightgown back up to her shoulder and kissing the top of her head again.

  Jack nodded, feeling miserable and out of place. And truly cold now that his body didn't warm hers. It was odd to feel so despondent with the sun was shining cheerfully through her windows. This time hadn't been like the others. She hadn't lost her fears to the rush of desire and longing that he could stir in her. Her mind had raced with questions and anxiety about what she should be doing. She leaned on the bedpost for support and watched the door between their rooms. Shortly he came back in, holding a small book in his hands.

  "You read French, I trust?"

  She nodded and he handed the book to her.

  "Don't leave it out where the servants can see it or someone will likely take it. Tell me if you have any questions." He rubbed her arms and kissed her forehead. "Stop worrying, Jacqueline. Now I'll leave your to your studies."

  She looked up into his face and he was smiling wryly at her. He tapped the tip of her nose with his finger and turned to go. When he reached the door she called out, "Gideon?"

  He turned towards her. "Yes?"

  "I... Thank you for the book."

  He nodded and slipped through the door.

  Why couldn't she tell him that what she really w
anted was him, not the book? She was still chilled and unhappy, wanting to be held in his arms. He was probably still in his room, changing back into his day clothes. She could go to him and he would hold her like he did that morning of the society article. Then he might kiss her like he had that first night in the library. Or at the party. Or even their first night at Kellington. Her skin warmed and tingled at the direction of her thoughts. And then he might... Well, she didn't know what came next really. She opened the book in her hands and almost immediately discovered that it was illustrated in a most shocking manner. She didn’t even know that such books existed! She withdrew to the window seat to start from the beginning. This was definitely a book she didn't want the maids to see her reading.

  Gideon jogged down the front steps of Kellington on the way to ride to one of the more distant farms on his estate. He was intensely frustrated and honestly wondered how he managed to function on a daily basis. But he felt good about giving Jack the book and waiting for her to read it. Of course his studious, educated wife would want a book to study on the subject and he should have thought of it earlier. A blindingly simple solution, really. But sometimes the obvious things were the hardest to see. Right now all he wanted to see was the most beautiful breast he had ever encountered in his life. Ripe, succulent, and soft. The dusty rose color and upturned tip begging for his ministrations had made him think that mid-morning sex on a sunny day had much to recommend it. He wondered what she was doing now. Had she dressed or was she still in her nightgown? The thought that she might have already discovered guidance on pleasuring herself, could be doing it even now, almost sent him straight back into the house. He wrestled with his impulse and finally forced duty to win out over desire. An estate didn't run itself and he had responsibilities to attend to. There were a limited number of hours in a day, and days in a year. If he didn't stay on schedule he would have no hope of covering all the territory he had planned. Visiting Cornwall in the first quarter had already fallen through. No more delays.

  Since her husband had still been out riding the estate at lunch, Jack had eaten quickly and gone back to her room. She left instructions with the staff that she was to be informed when Gideon returned. By mid-afternoon she had read the book three times, and studied the illustrations even though many of them seemed impossible or at least unlikely to her. She hid the small book underneath other less interesting tomes in her trunk, on the theory that no one would dig past a large botany book written in Latin and two Greek texts on astronomy. She chose a French novel to while away her time in her sitting room.

  Shortly before dinner was usually served, her maid Lara entered the room and curtsied. "The earl has returned, my lady."

  "Where is he?"

  "I believe he was returning to his room, my lady, in order to change for dinner."

  "Thank you, Lara. That will be all."

  Jack set aside her novel and went through her bedroom to the connecting door. It was slightly open as seemed to be their new habit, and she could hear someone moving in the room beyond. She knocked.

  "Come," he said briefly.

  When she entered she could see that he had already removed his jacket and was taking off his ring to set on the bureau while he washed. He appeared dusty, tired, and forlorn.

  "What's wrong?" she asked.

  He looked over at her and after a moment shook his head. "It's nothing."

  She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, her head resting on his chest. After a moment he put his arms around her back.

  "I need to get dressed for dinner," he murmured into her hair.

  "Why don't we eat up here?"

  She felt some of the tension leave his body at the suggestion. "Hmm, that sounds nice. You aren't going to throw your wine at me, are you?"

  "Has anyone ever told you that you have a tendency to hold a grudge?"

  He laughed at that and his arms tightened around her.

  "If you don't let me go," she protested, "then I can't talk Dibbs into having dinner sent up."

  "Starvation seems a small price to pay."

  "You would let me starve?"

  "Manipulative minx. No I wouldn't let you starve." He pulled back to look down at her. "How was your day?"

  "It was..." she thought for a moment. "Educational."

  He laughed again. "Perhaps at dinner we can talk about your further instruction."

  "That sounds promising. Now you wash up while I go sweet talk Dibbs."

  "Dibbs doesn't require sweet talk."

  "No, but he likes it."

  "Now I have to worry about my wife with the butler," he said with an exaggerated sigh.

  She laughed as she walked out to arrange dinner in their rooms. Upon her return she saw that after Gideon had washed he had stretched out on his bed and was now sound asleep. She was loathe to wake him since he'd seemed terribly tired. After she ate her fill she made up a plate for him of items that wouldn't spoil and, covering it with a napkin, left it on his bedside table. Although she was tempted to crawl into the bed next to him she still found herself too shy to do such a thing. She pulled the free half of his coverlet over him and gently kissed his forehead before going to her own bed.

  When Gideon awoke he swore he could smell roast. Once he had his eyes open and could focus he saw that a lamp was burning low on his bedside table and a covered plate was near at hand. He was absolutely starving and made short work of the cold food. He went out to the sitting room to see if there were any more leftovers, but his footmen had been diligent and already cleaned up after the meal. He prowled his rooms, briefly considering going down to the kitchens for something more to eat. But he knew what he really wanted. His eyes kept straying to the door leading into her room. He decided he was tired of waiting. It had been a fortnight since their wedding. She had all but told him that she was ready for marital relations. No, he thought to himself with a smile, she had implied it. He went through the door before he could second-guess himself again. Her room was bathed in moonlight, and as he approached her bed he saw that she slept on her side with one hand curled under her chin. She had plaited her hair into one long braid, which he hadn't seen before, and the simple hairstyle made her even sweeter, more innocent. Moving to the other side of the bed he drew off his robe and pulled back the covers to join her. When he settled against the pillows she mumbled and rolled over toward him. He put an arm around her and pulled her closer, so that her head rested on his shoulder and one of her legs was thrown over his own. It was both arousing and oddly comforting. Stroking his hand up and down her back he decided he didn't want to wake her and that waiting was for the best. He fell asleep again, inhaling the scent of her hair and feeling her soft breaths on his chest.

  He awoke before dawn with her still pressed against his side. His body had already reacted to that soft warmth and he realized his thumb was gently stroking the side of her breast. She murmured and nuzzled closer to his throat bringing him to a nearly painful state of arousal. He turned to face her, fully cupping one breast and testing the weight in his hand. Beautiful. Perfect.

  Gideon wanted to push her down into the feather bedding, cover her body with his own, and thrust into her until they were both crying out. His need for her had become so great that his hand trembled as he stroked her. She sighed and stretched under his touch, pushing her nipple against his palm and his body flamed even hotter. What was this need to claim her, possess her? It felt like he was bordering on madness. Would this pass with their joining, or become even more pronounced? Raising himself up on his elbow he looked down into her sweet, young face softly outlined in the dim light and his heart twisted in his chest. He felt raging need, cloying panic, and something else he dare not name. He carefully and silently withdrew from her bed and escaped to his dressing room to put on his riding clothes. A vigorous ride across the countryside would certainly ease both his panic and desire. As the sun rose he was hurrying down to the stables.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jack awoke slowly,
feeling languid. She stretched and curled up on her side to doze for a few minutes longer, slowly realizing she was on her left side, when her habit since coming to Kellington had been to sleep on her right. She sat up and saw the mussed bed clothing on the left side of her bed. Pulling the pillow to her nose she confirmed her suspicion. Mint, cloves, and man. Gideon. He had slept here for some portion of the night, undoubtedly coming for some bed sport and she hadn't awakened.

  Her capacity to sleep through almost anything during the dead of the night had provided years of entertainment to Sabre and George. Whenever the girls stayed together she could count on them attempting to do something to her while she slept. Pose her, re-braid her hair in an amusing way. One time they had carried her outside on a blanket and left her in the rose garden, where she had awakened to the gardener's gasp of surprise. Over time she learned that her sole defense against their shenanigans was staying up later and rising earlier than the two of them could manage. Rising early was something that came naturally to her, and since she had been here she had enjoyed exploring Kellington's grounds on morning rides with Gideon. He was most affable in the morning, perhaps because it was before he began reviewing the financial and Parliamentary papers that flowed unceasingly into the house.

  She dressed in her riding habit and hoped that he hadn't risen much earlier than she. She suspected that he now waited for her at the stables some mornings when he had awakened early, and the idea that he looked forward to their quiet morning rides together as much as she did warmed her. It was interesting that what had just seemed polite and perfunctory in the beginning was taking on the significance of sweetness and companionship. And now… now there was something more. Or perhaps there always had been.

  She looked out the window and, assessing that she had overslept, hurried down the steps and out towards the stables. Before she could enter the spacious building she heard the clop of hooves trotting over gravel. Shielding her eyes against the early morning sun she saw Gideon riding in from the fields. His horse Falcon was lathered and winded. Gideon had an oddly severe expression when he saw her. Trotting Falcon into the stableyard he pulled up in front of her.